During The Great Accord, Father Nemo Proprius was enlightened to discover that the Discordian's Law of fives was inaccurate because, according to itself, it too must occur in five's, which means there are five laws of fives, which would actually result in the law of 25's. Accordians henceforth adopted the Law of 25s as the natural truth. There was at this time in the city of Philidelphia a cluster of Accordian students who were jealous of the Effenpy for the face time he got to spend with Our lady of Discord, and there was one among them, Bishop Blue Balls, who sought to triumph over Father Nemo in order to gain the attention of She whose name dare not be spoken with a mouthful of food. He heard of FNP's discovery of the law of 25s, and believed that he could use this to destroy the Accorded one. He pointed out to parishioners of his cabal that, by the Effenpy's own logic, the Law of 25's must be likewise afflicted unto itself and to yield the Law of 625, which would likewise yield the law of 390,625, and then 152,587,890,625, etc. He therefore concluded that this "logic" would continue on forever, growing geometrically toward infinity. He thus proposed the Law of Infinities as the guiding rule for all accordians, and sought to find evidence of the law. He and his followers thus founded the Church of the Geometrics, and spent their time searching for infinities. This, however, is very difficult, and requires a very long time to count, and so all the followers of the Beebeebe spent all of their time in this pursuit. Eris did not like this at all, and she told the Bishop so. The Bishop was devastated. Driven mad by desparation, he declared war against The Effenpy. This became known as the Schism of the Infinitism, and many an internet message board was burned by the flaming of the Geometrics. Fortunately, they were too distracted by their pursuit of infinity to really do much harm.
The schism ended a brief time later when one brazen young Geometric believed he found an example of the law of infinities in viruses. In attempting to count an infinite number of viruses, he contracted a rather unpleasant plague which quite quickly spread through the rest of the church, and killed all of the heretics. Accordians pay tribute to their lost and delusioned brothers and sisters each year on the 30th day of Confusion, in the Holyday called simply, "The day that many fools died trying to count an infinite number of viruses which happened to be plague viruses".
What the Bishop never understood was that Nemo did not receive any more or less time with the goddess than he or any other discordian. Eris was with them always in their Pineal gland, but the Bishop was too distracted by his Green eye of jealousy to consult his Mind's eye, and therefore fell out of happiness.
